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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28209522">Walk, Walk, Fashion Baby</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedLlamas/pseuds/RedLlamas'>RedLlamas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dancing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, Sharing Clothes, Teasing, Undressing, but like they clearly want to!!!, if this is coherent that's on u buddy, we're here to primordially have a fun n sexy time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:36:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,519</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28209522</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedLlamas/pseuds/RedLlamas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan needs a floral shirt for something or the other, and so he goes to Shane, known floral shirt wearing guy, to ask if he can borrow one.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Walk, Walk, Fashion Baby</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/uneventfulhouses/gifts">uneventfulhouses</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/santamonicayachtclub/gifts">santamonicayachtclub</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>BIG thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/toadreadytoparty">Henley</a> for the beta, and another HUGE thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamecrimson">Petite</a> for cheerleading me thru this!<br/>The title, of course, hails from Lady Gaga's "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiRjp6y6QvI">Bad Romance</a>"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Why </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> you need a Hawaiian shirt?” Shane asks from where he’s perched on his own bed. He’s stretched out, sitting up against his pillows as he watches Ryan sift through his closet, pulling out anything he sees with flowers on it. There’s a pile building on the floor. There’s some on the bed. Shane wonders if Ryan’s gonna stay to help clean it up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because! Steven said he was gonna do a fruity drinks video thing, and he wanted me to dress appropriately, and I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> any floral prints,” Ryan explains, and looks curiously at a tank top that Shane seems to own. “Have you ever worn this?” he asks, holding it out to Shane.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shane opens his mouth, then closes it. “No, I don’t think so.” Ryan shrugs, and throws it onto the pile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t it be easier for you to just go out and buy one?” Shane asks. He scratches at his arm, doesn’t really know what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I have a friend who loves me dearly and has a big enough heart to let me borrow a shirt for a few hours, tops, don’t I?” Ryan replies, making his best puppy eyes at him. The effect is ruined with the shit-eating grin he has on, and Shane sighs loudly. Ryan giggles at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess you do!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a good man, sister,” Ryan says, and gets back to Shane’s closet. After a few more minutes of rifling about, he leans back and goes to stand before his floral pile. He stands like Wonder Woman, and Shane snickers at the sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright! Time to find The Shirt,” Ryan says, and claps his hands before crossing his arms and pulling his shirt off. He throws it at Shane, who gets startled by everything suddenly happening, and catches it carefully. He barely has enough time to appreciate Ryan’s naked body In His Room as Ryan pulls on a shirt. He shifts his shoulders in it, looking at how it fits him. He turns to look at himself in the mirror, and catches Shane’s gaze, who can only raise his eyebrows in a comical manner he hopes Ryan takes as not internally screaming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think of this one?” Ryan asks, spinning back into place. He spreads his arms as he stops, and Shane shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, let’s see another,” Ryan says, already pulling the shirt off from the collar, and throws it to the side, where a new pile is going to start up. He grabs another shirt and pulls it on, the fabric stretching around his form as it falls into place. Shane clutches Ryan’s shirt in his hands, willing his Everything to calm down. This particular shirt is tight around Ryan’s arms, his biceps bulging out from the fabric.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very tight,” Shane notes. He Realizes, and quickly licks his lips, adding, “Not comfortable for several hours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Ryan agrees, and off it goes. Shane’s eyes instinctively follow the shirt, and he berates himself for missing the show.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several shirts later, Ryan is buttoning up an old, smaller shirt of Shane’s that he’d been meaning to donate for a while, but had just forgotten to. Ryan’s sitting on the floor, and Shane taps his fingers on his knee, thinking of what to say, what to do. He gets An Idea, and hurries to follow through with it before his spine leaves him. He pulls off his shirt, and quickly slips Ryan’s on, and sits back very casually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan looks up at him and furrows his eyebrows. “What’d you just do?” he asks. Shane shrugs. Ryan raises his eyebrows at him, then his eyes widen as he realizes. He points at Shane, leaving his shirt half-buttoned, and Shane can see his chest, and he quickly looks back up at his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re wearing my shirt!” Ryan says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I am,” Shane says defensively. “You think you can just wear my clothes and not expect me to wear yours? Unbelievable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan wheezes at that, and nods, finishes doing his shirt up. He stands up and raises his hands in a placating manner. “Alright, alright, I can understand that. So! What about this one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shane looks at him seriously now, and yeah, the shirt’s too small.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You forgot a button,” he points out. There’s a bit of brown skin poking out between buttons.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did?” Ryan asks, and he runs his fingers down the button line, feeling for any skipped ones. He doesn’t find any, and pokes at the patch of skin poking out. “Oh! Dude, it’s just the shirt’s too small.” He mimes a strongman pose, and yes, the hole gets bigger, and more holes appear along the line.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Shane says. Ryan strikes a few more poses, looking very much like a smaller, hotter version of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Ryan gets up onto the bed, and growls, making a Hulk face, and jumps off from it to Hulk smash. The thing about that is that when he lands, there is suddenly a new sound, a sound that sounds suspiciously similar to cloth tearing, or a button popping off, or even, perhaps, a mix of the two. Ryan immediately straightens up, and covers his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ryan,” Shane begins. “What was that noise?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan slowly spins to face him, grimacing as he does. His arms cover his front, and he slowly lowers them. Shane’s eyebrows could not climb higher even if he tried, but alas, they do, as he looks at the lack of a middle button, and what appears to be rips in the shoulder seams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry!” Ryan apologizes, and Shane raises his hands to wave it away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, don’t, it’s okay, I was, I was gonna chuck that shirt either way, so. You did me a favor there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? You’re not mad?” Ryan asks, carefully unbuttoning the shirt. Shane crawls over to the edge of the bed and reaches to pull at Ryan’s shoulder, finishing breaking it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, no, whatever, I’m not mad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool,” Ryan says, and he follows Shane’s lead by finishing tearing off the shirt. It falls to the floor a sad heap of tattered cloths. Shane crawls back to where he was sitting, and kicks back to keep enjoying the show.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I break any more of your shirts, then it’s actually probably your fault,” Ryan pipes up as he gets another button-up. This one seems to be Shane’s actual size, and he stands for a bit to unbutton it. He is concentrated on his task, definitively ignoring Shane’s gaze on him, because if he thinks about it, he will launch himself out the window and into the street, where a car might graciously run him over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks up as Shane crawls over to the other side of the bed, facing the closet. He reaches for something in it, and nearly falls over. Ryan reaches for him, but Shane catches himself, and sits up correctly, rifles through the clothes before pulling out a green corduroy jacket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, put this on,” he says. Ryan grabs it, and holds it between his thighs as he finishes buttoning up the shirt. Shane lays back down, and props himself on an elbow as he watches Ryan finish dressing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shane's jacket is too big for him: it hangs off his shoulders, and the sleeves reach up to his finger tips. He waggles them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m baby,” he announces, and Shane wheezes at him, his face scrunching up as he laughs. He falls over with his joy, and he holds his tummy. Ryan giggles at him. He grabs the jacket’s sides and flaps them. He makes an eagle walk over to the mirror, and grins at how he looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I look like you!” he says, turning back around. Shane rolls onto his front, and raises his eyebrows at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? I don’t see it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! I’m just missing key pieces,” Ryan continues, and he comes back to rifle through Shane’s closet. He pulls out a pink pair of chinos and throws them to Shane before toeing his shoes off. Shane pulls his pants from his face, and watches in stunned horror(?) as Ryan pulls his basketball shorts down, clearly avoiding meeting his eyes as he takes the chinos again, and slips them on. Ryan jumps as he gets them over his thighs, and Shane can only panickedly run his hand through his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A key piece is, are, my pants?” he thinks to ask, because what else can he do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! It’s not Shane if it doesn’t have chinos!” Ryan exclaims, spreading his arms. Shane’s chinos are very long on him, and they make him drag his feet as he bounces around Shane’s room. He goes over to the dresser, and opens the topmost drawer, where Shane keeps his bandanas. He pulls one out and pulls it onto his head, which falls down to his neck. He looks over at Shane and squints at him suspiciously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your big head strikes again,” he accuses, as he pulls it back into place. Once his outfit is complete, he does his best Shane pose: shakes out his arms, and places them on his hips as he squints like Robert De Niro, nodding and everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that supposed to be me?!” Shane demands, sitting up in his indignation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, of course it is?” Ryan replies in his Shane voice. He shakes his arms out again before crossing them high over his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t do that!” Shane says as it dawns on him that, fuck, yeah he really does do that a lot. He sulks, making an angry pouty face, and crosses his arms haughtily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, c’mon, big guy, it’s okay,” Ryan says placatingly. He comes over to bump their foreheads together, and their hearts tighten at the action. He quickly pulls away so as to not let Shane feel how hot his face feels.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can do another Shane cosplay, hold on,” Ryan says, pulling his jacket off. He throws it to the side, and piece by piece his current outfit falls to the floor until he’s just in socks and underwear in the middle of Shane’s room, looking through the pile of floral shirts on the floor. He glances up as Shane shifts to sit cross-legged on his bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan grabs one of Shane’s raglans, and pulls it over his head, letting it bunch at his neck as he moves to the closet to look for more chinos.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shane can now see Ryan’s perfect ass, and he’s gonna burn his entire house down. He needs to distract from the fact that Ryan is naked, here, now, at this moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’re you looking for, Calvin? Another way to make fun of me, Calvin?” he thinks to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Calvin? Calvin, Calvin, Calvin…” Ryan whispers to himself. He’s sure it’s Something from Somewhere, but he can’t quite place it yet. He inspects a dark blue chino, and takes it off the rack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure are a dream, Calvin,” Shane says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan’s got one leg in the pants before he realizes, and grins. “Calvin? Why do you keep calling me Calvin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s your name, isn’t it? Calvin Klein? It’s written all over your underwear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan laughs, and Shane does so too. As Ryan buttons the pants, he realizes belatedly that he really </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> wearing Calvin Kleins. “Oh, that’s why you, and the thing,” he says. Shane grins at him, and nods patiently. The zipper zips closed, and he finally pulls the raglan over his arms. He holds the shirt out to see. It’s actually a black shirt, with the sleeves patterned in pink florals. It’s very pretty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever worn this shirt, actually?” he asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course I have, I wear it all the time," Shane says. Ryan squints at him, but his suspicious look is ruined by the grin that splits on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've never seen you in it," he says as he makes his way to the closet again to get a hat, and Shane catches himself looking for skin. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop reading so much fic</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thinks to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan jumps to the center of the room with a hat on, Shane’s dad hat, and he does jazz hands. “Tada!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shane snickers. “You look stupid.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>No he doesn't</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thinks. Ryan looks really good in his clothes, not necessarily because he’s got a heart-boner for him, but he genuinely pulls them off better than Shane could. Shane’s mildly jealous of that fact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well these are </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> clothes."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, I never said </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> wasn't stupid looking."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're not stupid looking," Ryan says very earnestly, and Shane doesn't know how to process that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I...disagree," Shane tries lamely. "So I'm gonna not look stupid now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that, he takes off Ryan's shirt, and quickly crouches so that Ryan can't see him as he shifts through the shirts on the floor. He finds the tank top, and quickly pulls it on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’re you gonna do to stop looking stupid?” Ryan asks, teasing notes to his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm gonna look like you," he announces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like me?" Ryan repeats.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but I don’t have basketball shorts, so…” he continues, and looks for Ryan’s shorts. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> saw them… aha! He puts them under his chin as he finally gets up and quickly gets out of his pants, pointedly not turning around to look at Ryan as he does so. Despite this, once he steps out of his chinos, Ryan lets out a wolf-whistle, and Shane has to glare at him, so now they’re having a staring contest, with Ryan grinning smugly at him, and Shane angrily sticking his legs into the shorts. Once he slips them up, he puts his hands on his hips, and taps his foot angrily on the floor. He stalks over to his dresser, grabs a hair tie, and picks his hair up to put it in a bun. He turns to face Ryan again, and crosses his arms high above his chest, doing his best bro nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sup?” he says, and Ryan laughs at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that supposed to be me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? Am I not bro enough?” Shane asks, and poses in what he assumes is a bro pose. He leans onto one leg and pumps his arms, then switches to the bolt, bolt, firepower arm positions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan just giggles at him, and he feels himself also smiling. He stands up straight again, but Ryan waves him to come closer, and so he does. Ryan holds his face, and Shane thinks something is about to happen, but all that Ryan does is pull him down. Shane bows his head, and Ryan undoes his bun, running his hand through his tresses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wouldn't wear a man bun," Ryan says softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think you would," Shane says just as softly. He lets himself get turned around, and has to do a weird half-squat so that Ryan can still touch his hair. Ryan starts brushing it, and Shane closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'd wear something cooler, like...Zuko, or...Geralt!" he says, and taps Shane's shoulders to get him to stand up. Shane reaches up to his hair and feels his new hairdo, which is exactly like Geralt de Rivia's hairstyle in the show. Shane sidesteps Ryan to look in the mirror, tilting his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh, not bad!" he comments, turning back around to smile at Ryan, who beams at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Too bad you don't have enough hair," Shane says, reaching to take off Ryan's hat and ruffle his hair. Ryan closes his eyes at the touch, letting Shane completely mess up his hair. After a few minutes, Shane steps back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Done!" Shane says, flinging the hat to the bed. Ryan leans to look at himself in the mirror, and he smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm missing something critically important, though," he says, and goes back to Shane's dresser and pulls out another headband. He pulls it on properly this time, and takes the care to frame his hair against it like Shane does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he checks himself in the mirror, Shane sits back on his bed, content in just admiring Ryan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan spins on the spot, hair properly Shane-ified. Shane grins at him, but quickly raises his eyebrows as Ryan starts shimmying towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you doing?" he asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm dancing!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You look like you're trying to undo a wedgie."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan laughs and swivels his hips some more before holding out his hands to Shane. Shane looks at his hands, then back up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Get up! Dance with me!" Ryan says, smile wide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, no, I don't think so," Shane says, cheeks pinkening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes! Come on," Ryan says, definitively taking hold on Shane's hands and pulling him back up again. He pulls him to the center of the room and tries to make him lead, but Shane doesn't take the bait. They do simple two-steps and side steps, essentially going in a circle, and then Ryan holds Shane's arms out so that he can dip underneath them, wrapping them around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan's pressed against Shane's chest, and he's breathless as he asks, "What're you doing?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm forcing you to spin me," Ryan says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shane grins at that, and finally tightens his hold on Ryan, and steps back to let him spin out from him. Ryan giggles as he leaves him, their hands tightening their hold so Ryan doesn't spin away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Ryan tries to spin back into place, he accidentally steps on a pant leg, and starts tumbling down. Shane is quick to catch him, wrapping his arms around him as he takes a few steps back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stop for a moment, trying to get back to themselves. Ryan is wide-eyed, and he looks at the mirror. Shane looks up as well, and their eyes meet. Ryan tilts his head to look up at real Shane, and now their faces are A Lot Closer, and Shane stumbles to get them upright again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They don't let go of each other's hands when they're standing for a moment, but one glance at each other's faces make them shyly pull away. They look away, squirming slightly at their sudden closeness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shane takes a step back, wanting to hide in the blankets on his bed. Ryan looks back at the pile on the floor, and picks out a dark blue button-up with a thick flowering pattern. It's the one Shane wore for the second part of their Tourist Trapped episode, and Shane’s heart does backflips at how gently Ryan handles it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan holds the shirt for a little bit more, before folding it. He looks up at Shane, and just smiles. Shane starts picking up his shirts and folding them as well, and they soon have a nice stack of folded shirts on Shane's bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, Shane," Ryan begins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can I borrow this shirt?" he asks, tugging at the collar of his raglan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, yeah, of course!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, great! Thanks, thank you," Ryan says, gently smiling up at him. Shane returns the smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan pulls the raglan off, and looks around for his shirt. He finds it on Shane's bed, and puts a knee on it to reach for it. Shane slides out of Ryan’s shorts, and looks around on the floor for a pair of his own pants, quickly slipping into his own clothes. He hands Ryan the shorts, and grabs his shoes to pass them over as well. Ryan smiles at Shane's attention, and seems to take his sweet time finishing getting dressed. But once he finally does, he sits on the bed, raglan in hand, looking around Shane's room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I guess that’s it, huh?” Ryan says, rubbing his hands together as he looks up at Shane. Shane looks back at him and shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess so,” Shane replies. “Unless you need to borrow other clothes of mine?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’m good,” Ryan says, and he gets up, slinging the raglan over his shoulder. “I guess I should get going now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess so… I’ll walk you to the door!” Shane suggests, and so they walk to Shane’s door, where Ryan turns on the threshold to look at Shane once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They giggle a little bit, then Ryan leaves, waving back at Shane. Shane waves back, and closes the door, leaning against it as he covers his face to try to stifle a screech.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan, meanwhile, skips down the stairs of Shane’s apartment building, whistling a little tune to himself as he makes his way to his car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steven gets an individual text from them both a while later, and their messages are the exact same: oh Steven, I just spent time with </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and it was so magical, and we had so much fun, do you think he’d ever like me back? Be honest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steven sets his phone down, and takes off his glasses, and rubs his temples. He utters a simple phrase –”oh my God”– and then puts his glasses back on. He grabs his phone and really considers writing to Dear Abby about his useless pining coworkers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does not write to her that day.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
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